America has fallen in love with Kelly Clarkson. The young Texas waitress won the very first season of American Idol back in 2002. She managed to leverage that win into a mega career as a pop music star. Recently, she coached missionary-kid-turned-country-singer Jake Hoot to victory on NBC’s The Voice.
And now Kelly Clarkson hosts a very popular talk show. People love her honesty, humor and spontaneity. You never know what she is going to say.
Recently on her show, Clarkson was asked “What is the last thing you do before you go to bed every night?”
The questioner was expecting to hear about a beauty routine or perhaps an exercise tip. But that’s not the response she got from the 37-year-old mother of two young children.
“Well….” Clarkson said, “I was single for many years so, I have children [now], and how one makes children is generally what I do before bed — that’s not a lie. That’s real! And it’s not weird, it’s natural.”
The questioner blushed while the audience laughed, as you would expect. And Clarkson’s remark about her own sex-life has sparked some conversation about the relationship between sex and the kind of visibly happy marriage Clarkson and her husband seem to enjoy.
The fact is sex is an important element in a happy marriage. The Bible is clear that sex between husband and wife is part of God’s design for marriage. Sex is a gift that feels good and, in the proper context, can produce an intimate connection that enhances all aspects of marriage.
Recent studies show that sex is a key ingredient to a happy marriage. A sexual encounter produces an “afterglow”-a sense of well-being and satisfaction- that lasts for up to two days. According to the research, a strong afterglow is tied to feelings of marital happiness and satisfaction many months later.
Of course, not all happily married couples have sex every night.
Newly married couples may engage in sexual relations several times a week. Those patterns tend to change when children come along. Exhaustion may overwhelm any perceived need for intercourse. And as work responsibilities and family dynamics change, couples often have ups and downs in their desire for sex.
Aging can affect feelings of sexual desire. So can various health issues. But if sexual relations are an important part of a happy marriage and couples find themselves too busy and exhausted to have sex more than once a month, it may be time to re-evaluate the schedule.
Sex is one aspect of healthy marriage. It’s certainly not the whole enchilada. But it is important. And it should be part of the ongoing dialogue between husband and wife.
If you need to ask your spouse some questions, or share your needs and desires with them, Kelly Clarkson probably won’t mind if you use her comments above to start the discussion.
Or you might try taking a marriage course together.
When was the last time you and your spouse had an honest, loving conversation about your sex life?