Where is spiritual growth on your to-do list?
It’s no secret; you have a lot to do. You and everyone else in the world. There are so many demands on our time, in fact, that the time we have with our spouses is highly limited.
Distractions don’t leave, either, just because you’re under the same roof with your spouse. Kids still need help getting where they need to go. Housework still needs doing, and that big work project still needs finishing.
If you’re like most people, by the time you put all those things to bed (including the kids), it’s easy to fritter away the time left for the person to whom you pledged to devote your life. That next episode on Netflix is more comfortable to watch than focusing on what matters to your life as a couple.
Personal development author Kevin Ngo said, “If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a LOT of time dealing with a life you don’t want.”
It’s not that we don’t want to have priorities in marriage in the right place. Who doesn’t want to have a relationship centered on the power that God can provide through Christ? It’s just that, sometimes, we need to call ourselves back to that reality.
No matter how successful we might appear with money, material things, and raising kids, it’s all a house of cards when your marriage isn’t grounded in spiritual truth.
In the midst of a busy life, only God can keep you truly centered. If you want to get to that place as a couple, try doing these five things:
1. Make a new or renewed covenant with your spouse.
You might have promised to give God the top spot in your marriage when you exchanged vows. But, if you feel that’s not happening anymore, it’s time to do it again. Both of you should try writing out what you want for your spiritual lives together. Then, read what you wrote to each other. Use that as a basis for a new commitment.
2. Have a goal.
It doesn’t have to be lofty, but when you formalize an ambition together, you’re more likely to achieve it. As the old saying goes, “If you’re not aiming for anything, you’ll won’t hit anything.”
What do you want to accomplish with your spouse spiritually? Is it serving in ministry, reading the Bible, or spending time in prayer? Whatever you choose, it’s going to provide clarity and momentum for your spiritual relationship.
3. Be unrelenting.
There will be days when you just don’t feel like coming together before God to offer yourselves and follow through on what you’ve committed. Dig deep and find the strength to follow through. It’s the times when we’re most vulnerable and transparent with our spouses, especially about spiritual matters, that intimacy and closeness can happen.
4. Be outspoken.
One helpful way to keep your marriage focused on spiritual things is to keep them in front of you. Have a verse of the day that you read at breakfast, post scripture in your house, or include a family devotional in your routine. Finding ways to openly integrate spiritual conversation as a regular part of your life creates a culture in your marriage and family that fosters an emphasis on things above.
5. Regularly evaluate your progress.
A great exercise to go through on your own, but also with your spouse and family, is to see where you spend your money and time. Your bank register and calendar have the uncanny ability to reveal priorities.
If you wait until you’ve got everything else under control to focus on your life together with the Lord, it will never happen. Without God at the head of your marriage, it’s open to danger, and even disaster. Only He can transform your hearts as a couple, and He’s also the only one who can help you weather any trial or storm.
If God’s not in the top place in your marriage, get Him there in a hurry. It will be the best decision you ever make as a couple.
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More reading:
Fight the Temptation to Retaliate
Praying Together: Three Reasons Husbands Have Trouble Praying with Their Wives
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