Married couple - "Chosen" by Marriage Dynamics Institute


Bobby KernContentment, Marriage Health, Weddings

It is an amazing thing to be chosen.

I remember very little from my wedding day. The details of the day run together in a sort of blur whenever I think back. I know I was there, and I’m fairly certain that I even had lines in the ceremony.

I know that my dad said a prayer, though I have no idea what he prayed. I’m confident that my uncle, a long-time minister who performed the ceremony, said some great things. What those things were, I haven’t the slightest idea.

There are, however, some things that I recall vividly. My bride was breathtaking. She walked through the door; I exhaled and quite literally stopped breathing. I assume I was turning a shade of purple because I distinctly remember hearing my soon-to-be brother-in-law say “Breathe!”

As she walked down the aisle, hand in hand with her father, tears filled my eyes. I was overcome not only with her beauty, but also quite simply with the fact that we were sharing this moment. After nearly thirty years of desperately seeking the idea of her, here she was in the flesh walking toward me, an exquisite smile on her face, her presence a radiant glow.

She was making that walk down the aisle because she chose me.

I do not remember the song echoing through the chapel during our candle lighting, but I recall every emotion pouring from my body as we looked into each other’s eyes. We spoke of the people gathered with us, and the fun times that were to come … and we laughed.

I believe this is so etched in my mind because it was our time to simply relish in the choice we were making to be each other’s other for a lifetime.

Marriage is an amazing institution because of the relational implications involved with the sealing of those vows. The words repeated between the bride and groom are not fluff. They are not simple, traditional sayings to be taken lightly. They are, in essence, a declaration of a choice being made.

When Paul writes to the church at Ephesus (Eph. 5:25) that husbands are to “love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her,” he is alluding to the idea of choice. In his letter to the Philippians (Phil. 2:6-8), Paul specifically tells us that Jesus chose to give up everything that privileged him as a divine being so that he could come down here and be one of us—to live like us, and die for us. We were chosen by Jesus to be his!

My wife and I said, “I do!” and began our life together. Ten years later I wake up every morning and see that same smile, that same glow, and I am comforted. She daily chooses me to be hers!

It is an amazing thing to be chosen.

Find other great articles, courses, and workshops at


About the Author

Bobby Kern

Contributing Writer Bobby Kern is an Associate Professor in Family Science at Oklahoma Christian University. He is blessed to be Lisa's husband and Lydia and Josiah's daddy. He loves Jesus, his family, and all things sport!