Dancing in the Minefields-Thoughts on Love and Commitment

Melody MorrisCommitment, Conflict, Faith, Marriage Health

Almost 20 years ago, my husband and I moved to a country in Eastern Europe that had just gone through a war. Orientation to our adopted home included land mine recognition training. 

So the first time I heard singer/songwriter Andrew Peterson’s “Dancing in the Minefields” I had a weird flashback.

The song is about marriage. And while the first line of the chorus grabbed my attention, the last line left me pondering the truth in this thoughtful lyric.

And we’re dancing in the minefields
We’re sailing in the storms
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for

Recently I stumbled across an interview Peterson gave in 2010 when Dancing in the Minefields was first released.  He talked about the meaning and message in this song.

Any good marriage involves a thousand deaths to self. The good news is, in Christ that marriage involves at least as many resurrections. We lay our lives down and enter this perilous dance with another human being who has done the same. Why should we expect to emerge unscathed?

You need to know that if you are in an intimate relationship with someone there will be arguments. There will be tension. Mountains are moving in your soul and you’ll have scars. That’s part of God’s design and that makes marriage beautiful.

Peterson’s words made me think about these from noted pastor, scholar, professor and theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but,  from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.  -from Letters and Papers from Prison

I’ve heard that quote often. My husband references it when he officiates weddings. Marriage is more than love. So much more. Marriage is commitment rooted in a promise. And you need commitment to fuel your love, especially in the tough times.

Especially when you find yourself dancing in minefields, so to speak, when life is blowing up all around you.

Or sailing in the storms, tossed and turned until your love is more than a little off balance.

That’s what the promise is for.

Are there some “minefields” or “storms” that threaten your marriage right now? This week, make time to talk about this with your spouse, and reaffirm your commitment to weather tough times together.

And if you feel like your marriage is going under, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Click here for information about resources to help you save your marriage.

Read the full interview with Andrew Peterson, and find the lyrics for Dancing in the Minefields and a recording of the song at this link.


About the Author

Melody Morris

Melody Morris has been married to her husband, Ken, for 35 years. They have five young adult children. Melody and Ken love travel and enjoy cooking together. At Marriage Dynamics Institute, Melody serves as a consultant for the A New Beginning workshop for marriages in crisis.