Flag of surrender

Don’t Give Up. Surrender.

Marriage Dynamics InstituteFaith, Uncategorized

You said divorce wasn’t an option. If you’re having second thoughts, consider this.

Remember that old saying, “your word is your bond?” That’s not always true in relationships. Seems like it should be true in marriage, though.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Maybe it was yesterday, or maybe it was a long time ago, but the vows you shared with your spouse in front of your family and friends were much easier to say than to actually DO. If the vows were easy to keep, there wouldn’t be so many couples who just can’t seem to work things out.

For better or worse. Richer or poorer. In sickness or health. Together until death takes one of you. Those are noble ideas, and they were God’s thoughts. Marriage is supposed to be an unbreakable union no matter what happens.

But the going gets tough. No matter how much anyone tries to prepare you for the hard things that come with marriage, most of us are never quite ready for all of the experiences that make up a marriage.

Experience comes in different packages for different folks. However, one thing is sure.

If experience were a person, he’d often look like a villain.

He might assume the shape of a sickness that tries to sabotage your best years together. Or experience might be a financial crisis that creates uncertainty between the two of you. Or, maybe your spouse has said or done something that makes you wonder if you ever knew them at all.

But no matter how he appears, the goal is the same. He’ll try to convince you the one you love has joined his villainous team. He’ll trick you into thinking the whole world is against you, especially the person who should most be on your side.

When that happens, when he sneaks up on you and starts whispering in your ear, you may find yourself thinking thoughts you never imagined. Such as … maybe leaving this relationship behind would be better.

That’s the Enemy talking, and he’s lying to you. Because the real opposition isn’t your spouse, despite how you may feel at times. When you most feel like fighting each other, that’s when you need to reach inside yourself and face the sinister plans of Satan head on.

So, what’s the battle plan? When you face the reality of life’s hardest blows, there’s only one real solution.

Don’t give up. Instead, surrender.

That may seem a little backward, but it’s true. When you’ve come to the end of your rope, and you don’t think you can hang on anymore, there is One who can lift you out of danger. So surrender your fear to God, and surrender the anger and bitterness that’s creating a wall between you and your spouse.

Let Him be the superglue that holds you together when everything is trying to pull you apart.

Don’t quit. And don’t give in. Surrender it all.

All to Jesus I surrender,

Lord, I give myself to thee,

Fill me with thy love and power,

Let thy blessing fall on me.

I surrender all,

I surrender all,

All to thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all.

Don’t give up. Just surrender.

“I Surrender All”/Judson W. Van DeVenter and Winfield S. Weeden/Public Domain

More reading:
3 Questions to Ask Yourself if You’re Considering Divorce
12 Practical Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Spouse

About the Author

Marriage Dynamics Institute

Marriage Dynamics Institute (MDI) wants to cultivate healthy families, churches, and communities by helping create marriages full of joy, meaning, and purpose. Having served more than 75,000 couples since 1994, MDI offers workshops and seminars for marriages at every stage, including those in crisis.