Is It Possible to Fall Out of Love?

Marriage Dynamics InstituteCommitment, Communication, Conflict, Divorce, Marriage Courses, Marriage Health, Reconnecting, Selfishness

Albert Einstein once said, “You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.”

No indeed.

So if you’ve been “bitten by the love bug” or shot by one of “cupid’s” arrows, you may seem “head over heels” or even “love sick”.

Researchers have discovered chemical reactions in the brain that account for such behavior. It seems that increased levels of the feel-good chemical dopamine, for example, result in a singular focus on the object of one’s affection.

In short, when people fall in love they are often preoccupied. So they may daydream about time spent with their beloved, doodle their name on paper, or lose themselves in planning special dates together.

But what happens when a romantically distracted couple gets married? Well, after awhile, the “crazy” feelings of early love subside.  But when couples continue to relate to each other in positive ways and meet each other’s needs, the result is that their connection becomes stronger and their affection for each other deepens. Consequently, each small kindness can fan the flame and keep love vibrant, alive, and strong.

On the other hand, couples may find that the stresses of life overwhelm their relationship. Or maybe their own selfishness undermines it. So husbands and wives stop engaging with each other. They may stop acting kindly toward each other, encouraging each other, or listening to each other.

And over time, some couples find themselves locked in a cycle of persistent conflict, or living in the same house as roommates. They may feel like virtual strangers. When love is not tended, cultivated and nourished, it will unavoidably wither.

So while it’s possible to fall in love quickly, love tends to die slowly.

But the good news is, love can be revived and even the most broken marriages restored. And this happens when couples turn toward each other with intention, and demonstrate love and respect in practical ways.

In other words, it is possible to turn things around.  For example, here’s what one participant in the A New Beginning workshop for marriages in crisis experienced earlier this year…


“At first I was pessimistic about the workshop because my marriage was at the end. We both felt there was no turning it around. Even on the first day listening to the leaders I was feeling hopeless.

Then after the second day I realized that the tools given could work if we both wanted to improve our marriage. To be honest the workshop can really provide hope to a marriage which you feel is about to fail. The leaders were knowledgeable, approachable and patient the entire weekend. Truly they are a blessing and God does work miracles.”


And that’s why A New Beginning was created twenty years ago.

Because there is hope for marriages in trouble.

And love revived is a beautiful thing.

Click here for a FREE printable brochure that you can share with couples who need to know about A New Beginning.

About the Author

Marriage Dynamics Institute

Marriage Dynamics Institute (MDI) wants to cultivate healthy families, churches, and communities by helping create marriages full of joy, meaning, and purpose. Having served more than 75,000 couples since 1994, MDI offers workshops and seminars for marriages at every stage, including those in crisis.