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When Three Isn’t a Crowd in Your Marriage | Marriage Dynamics Institute

MattFaith, Marriage Health, Uncategorized

Learning to Include God in Your Relationship

You’ve probably heard it. Two’s company, and three’s a crowd. If someone says those words to you, you’ll probably get your feelings hurt. If you’re not up to snuff on idioms, it means if someone is having an A to B conversation, you can C your way out.

In other words, they want you to get lost.

Three people can indeed be too many, especially when it comes to marriage. In fact, when someone else speaks into the relationship you have with your spouse in a way that crosses the line, it can cause problems.

However, there’s one person who should always be welcome in your conversations. He’s the Creator of the universe.

Wow, how about it? There’s a good bet that the One who spoke the stars into existence can help put the gleam back in your eyes. What an opportunity. Are you taking advantage?

He’s not going to barge in the midst of you two, though. You’ve got to invite him in. As you may have heard, God is a gentleman, and he’s not going where he isn’t welcome.

So what keeps you from opening up the circle to include times where you’re open to God in your relationship? There could be any number of reasons.

Perhaps you come from a background where that type of vulnerability and transparency wasn’t offered or encouraged. Maybe displays like that were seen as weakness, so they got shut down.

It could be a result of your lack of experience. Maybe you feel inept at spiritual things—especially compared to your spouse. It seems so natural for them to draw near to God, but not for you.
Or, perhaps you don’t lack experience. Could it be you don’t want to deal with something in your life or marriage that needs confronting? The fallout will be too big, you think. The task is too hard, and you don’t believe you have the energy you need.

Ignore the Liar, Listen to the Truth

If you’re listening to lies like that, it’s apparent you’ve already let someone from the heavenly realm into the intimate space you share with your spouse. If you hear those things, the Wolf in the Lamb’s clothing deceived you.

What the Enemy doesn’t want you to realize is that when you learn to include God in your conversations with your spouse, that’s where you begin to find your collective identity. Then, there’s no room left for the trickster. It’ll make him mad, and relieve a ton of pressure from the person in whom you were trying to find affirmation or satisfaction that only God can provide.

God is a good friend to have in your marriage. He can feed it. He offers the ultimate farmer’s market, full of spiritual fruit that’s yours for the taking if you’ll only open your hearts to him. Why wouldn’t you want to get more of that every day?

The strength of your relationship together with God gauges the health of your marriage. His power, made accessible through your conversations as a couple with Him, and your willingness to search His Word for wisdom is the fuel that will take your relationship to the best place possible.

If you choose to make room for Him though, you better scoot over. He’s a big God, after all.

Get more tips for a healthy marriage in our free guide, “7 Foolproof Ways to Build Exceptional Love“!

More reading:
Work on Your Marriage Goals with an Accountability Partner
Stop Trying to Clean Up During the Storm

About the Author


Matt Brock has been married to Holly since 1999. When he's not involved in helping nonprofits tell their story he likes writing and traveling. He likes exercise less but needs to do it more.