Man watering grass

The Joys of Marriage Maintenance

Marriage Dynamics InstituteCommitment, Communication, Conflict, Connection, Contentment, Date Night, Gratitude, Intimacy, Marriage Health, Reconnecting

If you are a home owner, you know about maintenance.

Unless your house is newly constructed, and sometimes even if it is, something always needs repair. Or a little touch of paint.  Or a battery in the smoke detector. Or….whatever.

And spring cleaning is a thing becauses houses get dirty. Once a year or so they need a good going-over to get rid of accumulated dust and grime.

But when your home is clean and in good repair, it’s easier to relax and enjoy your surroundings, right?

And if you own a home with a yard, you know even more about maintenance!

Because you can mow the lawn on Saturday, and if it rains during the week, the grass needs cutting again sooner rather than later.

Now if you don’t mow the grass, you soon find yourself knee deep in a ragged lawn that elecits dirty looks from the neighbors.

But if you do get out the mower, you might benefit from the exercise, or just the fresh air and sunshine.

And you enjoy the beauty of a tidy yard. At least for a few days!

Items of value usually require maintenance.

Drive a car? It needs regular oil changes and fresh fluids to run well and maybe a good waxing to preserve the paint job.

Play an instrument? A piano needs periodic tuning. A guitar requires new strings from time to time. When instruments are in good repair, they sound better.

The illustrations are endless. But the point is this–we maintain things we care about. And when we maintain them, we get more enjoyment from them.

Relationships need maintenance, too.

Some friendships span decades. Two people may not see each other for years, and then meet again and “pick right up where they left off.” But those friendships are the exception and not the rule.

Because the reality is most significant relationships require ongoing maintenance.

Like marriage.

Many people believe that if you love each other enough, everything should somehow just work out.

But people need care and attention. And a beautiful, healthy marriage is the result of regular, consistent, intentional investment of time and energy. That’s marriage maintenance.

You may have heard that old saying:

“The grass is always greener…where you water it.”

It’s true.

Does your marriage need some maintenance or a good spring cleaning?

Are you and your spouse getting rusty in some areas of your relationship? Perhaps it’s time to get serious about regular date nights. Or maybe you need to set aside a Saturday for a day trip together.

Are there issues in your marriage that just keep getting swept under the rug? Your relationship might benefit from some honest conversations. Timing is everything. And location makes a difference, too. So calendar this when you can both be relaxed and ready for productive and caring discussion.

How often do you and your spouse express appreciation for one another? Speaking words of affirmation to your spouse may seem awkward if you are not in the habit of doing so. But it’s amazing the difference positive words can make in a relationship.

If you need ideas for words of affirmation, make a list of things you love about your spouse. Then find times to speak those things out loud. Or perhaps write a note and leave it where your spouse is sure to find it.

A little marriage maintenance may be just the thing to re-energize your relationship. And like a good spring cleaning, you may uncover or rediscover what a treasure you have in your spouse.


Need some help with relationship maintenance? Try a nine-week marriage course. Ane if your marriage needs a complete overhaul, consider a more intensive marriage workshop.

About the Author

Marriage Dynamics Institute

Marriage Dynamics Institute (MDI) wants to cultivate healthy families, churches, and communities by helping create marriages full of joy, meaning, and purpose. Having served more than 75,000 couples since 1994, MDI offers workshops and seminars for marriages at every stage, including those in crisis.